BCCTWB

I want to start this off by pre-iterating (is that a word? I will reiterate as I write on…) that if you’re a “guilty” party here, you’re an amazing, thoughtful and sweet human being. I just couldn’t help sharing some direct quotes about all this cancer shit from a slew of run ins with friends, family, and random acquaintances:

Hi! You’re looking great!!

Kind Human(s)

And then there’s:

It’s SO good to see you! You look beautiful.

Additional Kind Human(s)

And lastly, some version of:

How’s your family and the girls? They’re so cute!!

L & S fans, who are also Kind Humans

I bring this up because I find that 90% of people who want to check in, lead off with a compliment (thank you!!). I understand that half of it is the discomfort about highlighting my diagnosis. Unlike me and my TMI blabbermouth tendencies, most of you make an effort to steer clear of the stupid C word. Probably because for our whole lives we’ve been banned from one C word, so it translates to an inclination to dodge this C word, too.

So thank you. Thank you, again, for the continued compliments on my “lookin good.” I’ll take credit for 50% of this by accessorizing my slightly different bod, so it’s always so cool to get reassurance that I’m killin’ it. Thank you for giving me an ear to vent to, given that the bulk of these compliments result in me providing a cancer life update, not just a normal life update (which I’m pretty sure is what you’re looking for, but understand it’s a lot). And, thank you for giving me an excuse to brag about (/whine about), and show pictures of, my two whackos.

You’re an amazing, thoughtful and sweet human being.

Aside from the complimentary check-in’s, I’m also receiving a whole lotta love from above. For me, “above” equates to my amazingly bizarro interactions with the universe, and how my third eye has continued to develop. As have the universe relationships and third eyes’ of a number of people close to me (LEILA!!). Because yes, this type of stuff does exist and happen in the real world. And yes, these incidents that some love to poke fun at are incredibly meaningful, decision driving, comfort inducing things that I crave to find, call out and examine to determine how they relate to my existence.

AND, because I’m that obsessed and need to demonstrate how this works, the artwork below is a nod to a number that has been a part of my life forever, and even more so now:

Twenty-five. The big 2-5. Roulette pick numero uno.

• Christmas, my fave, is the 25th
• My birthday is January 25th
• My uncle’s birthday is February 25th (the back to back on this always made me chuckle)
• All this cancer shit started popping up on May 2nd, aka 5/2, aka 25 backwards – because it was so messed up and the universe was giving me advance notice that it agreed… 🤷🏻‍♀️
• My first fuck this shit tattoo was on August 25th
• My cancer treatment started October 25th
• My therapist’s birthday is also on the 25th. This may seem an odd call out but it is incredibly relevant given my general… “lack of need” for therapy post trauma (their words not mine!), and initial frustration that this person is a HE! But I’m sorta obsessed and love working with him so I take it all back and embrace that it randomly came up one day that his birthday is on the 25th.

I could go on but I think you get the gist. And if I carried on you’d either think I’m a complete loony toon OR, if you’re super smart, seeking your own relationship with the universe.

For those of you on the more traditional side, God is the main man “above.” I don’t want anyone to take this the wrong way, but frankly, he and I have never really gotten on. I think we agree to disagree on his presence in my own life, but I completely respect the comfort providing relationship many of you have with him.

I bring this up to highlight that approximately 4,752 people have reached out to express that their faith, prayers and love for god are all in my corner as I fight the good fight. This has come in the form of hugs with whispers, prayer circle notifications, cards with notes, lovely cards notes with mass cards enclosed (I think that’s what they’re called??), and lastly, a cute clover that was blessed by holy water from somewhere special and super holy. It sits on my kitchen windowsill and serves as the perfectly non “religious” symbol to remind me of all you sharing your prayer status with me. Thank you for sharing that your thoughtfulness and prayer energy is focused on your love for my family and I.

You’re an amazing, thoughtful and sweet human being.

And I think I’ll wrap up with a funny little church love story below. It’ll be most comical to those who live nearby and know what happens at Keystone, a cool place a number of people I know refer to as the old folk dorm…

On Easter morning, I had a funny conversation with a loved one – Rosie, Ryan’s grandmother:

Gram – Danielle, when I went to church this morning, it was announced at the very start that the entire mass would be for you, Danielle Kornhaas.

Me – That’s very nice of them, was that at St. Joe’s?

Gram – Ha (which for her is a sort of dragged out pronunciation of Ha, like, hu-ah hu-ah) it was with the pastor, not at St. Joe’s, but at Keystone. In the recreation room.

Me – Oh! Well, that’s funny. Certainly glad to hear that so many aged and experienced folks are putting it out there for me.

Gram – We just love you so much and you’re in everyone’s thoughts ♥️

Anyways, thanks for keeping up with my ish. Sending all the love, and again, thank you’s for the amazing support.

SPEAKING of support – this charity walk I’m doing is sneaking up! Sharing the National Brain Tumor Society walk page for those of you looking to encourage my super ambitious 5k. Just sayin’.