BCCTWB

I’ll start off by saying it’s been a week, and it took me a couple of days to piece all of this together in a horrible yet sort of harmonious way.

On Wednesday, I wore a bright pink BCCTWB Warrior shirt with black leggings. Pretty standard look for me, but when I was dropping the girls off at school, Kellie, the head of the school, commented that it was a pink and black sort of day as she pointed out her own similarly styled apparel. I chuckled and walked down the hall where Scarbo’s teacher commented on the two of us wearing pink, to which I OBVI replied “on Wednesdays we wear pink!” Full disclosure, the teacher who made the pink comment had no idea what I was saying (cough, cough, Theresa, cough), and even continued to glare at me when I attempted to have a ha-ha moment, because she was completely Clueless. (Teacher #2, Caroline, I’ll give more credit because she picked up the reference, but the interaction served as a reminder of how many years I’ve got on those wonderful “kiddos” caring for my kiddo.)

Anyways, I thought I was choosing to wear a cheerful color that day to help my mood. I woke up a completely mopey crank and opted for my bright pink, happy colored shirt that reminds me to embrace the fuck-you-cancer-I’m-a-bad-ass-bitch attitude. After my drop off chats I began to wonder if maybe I was subconsciously dressing like a sassy Wednesday bitch to channel some Mean Girls vibes…

Later that day, I ran out to grab a couple things at Whole Foods and allowed myself a lovely $5.99 arrangements of gerbera daisies – one of my absolute favorite flowers. Given how my life and the goofy universe goes, I’m sure you can guess what color they are. The selection wasn’t a conscious choice to match my shirt or give Mean Girls another nod. The prettiest ones they had available just happened to be pink, so they came home to brighten up our kitchen.

And, to make sense of my “horribly harmonious” note above, I must wrap up with some fun end of day deets. Wednesday was the first day of my fourth round of chemo. That fact is likely the reason for my mood, but if I’m being honest with myself, I have to admit that I don’t always realize chemo approaching = emo Danielle. I don’t know why. Throughout this whole process I’ve felt the most comfortable when I’m being active against this mofo in my brain. Radiation felt GOOD. Like. Made me happy despite the fact that it was a huge time-suck and horrified most people.

Same thing with my surgery. I know a whole bunch of people who I’d argue are more concerned about getting bloodwork done, seeing a GP, taking prescriptions, etc., etc. than I was about getting my skull cut into. I mean, I felt so good about it that I requested (and possess) videos of the chats we had when they woke me up during the procedure. (Not sure if I’ve discussed these details when sharing info online – pretty freakin’ funny if you ask me so maybe worth sharing another time…)

SO. What I haven’t been able to grasp, and continue to butt up against – why is taking the chemo pills making me so nutty?? Literal brain surgery was less of an imposition. It’s weird, and I’m really not sure I’ll figure that out so I’ve just got to keep moving onward and upward as I work to kick this thing in the you know what’s (btw, based on how I’ve been discussing the blob – please don’t take unnecessary offense to this – I feel like the tumor is a male gendered POS).

And now back to what started this – the universe was giggling at me when I went to take my chemo Wednesday night and realized the pills are PINK. Duh. They haven’t changed colors since previous rounds, but I can’t say the color is something I committed to memory prior to this week. I know it’s technically supposed to be on Wednesdays that the Mean Girls wear pink, but I think MY mean girls wear pink 5 consecutive days out of every month. Regina just has to deal.

Hope everyone else had a less dramatic, but equally bright colored, Wednesday!

BCCTWB

PS – For those of you who haven’t found your way to my tee-shirt zone, we’re rapidly approaching Brain Cancer month and IN MAY WE WEAR GRAY!!!! So, gear up, or smell ya later. (JK, I know you won’t all gear up but I still like most of you.)

PPS – Brain Tumor charity walk also in May… it’s all sneaking up!