BCCTWB

It’s been quite a while since my last post so I’m feeling a bit out of sorts here. BUT, given that so much has been happening in the last couple of months, I felt like it was time to get everyone up to speed. Bear with me if this is clunky or poorly written at any point. Ultimately I do think it’ll be fun for all of us – I get to blab, you all get to read this and continue to remind me that I’m SO fab 💁🏻‍♀️.

Since my last update, one of the biggest changes is…

…that I have wrapped up my chemotherapy adventure. My last day of pills was 6/16/2024.

I’m sure for most of you reading, this update makes you think something along the lines of “OMG! Congrats, D! You kicked cancer’s ass!”. Which is really sweet and I do appreciate it. But the whole “you’re done with chemo” thing is a very loaded statement.

Obviously I’m happy to be done poisoning my body. I’m happy to be done relying on zofran every single morning. I’m happy to be tasting salt again (!!!!). I’m happy to be regaining normal hearing/feelings in my left ear. I’m happy to be able to stay up for some TV with Ry (he’d probably argue that I’m lying and tend to be a sleepy Bear, but I think I deserve a Bravo and should be Presumed Innocent until proven guilty).

So yes, there are definitely some very wonderful and obvious positives here. And to be honest the negatives, which may be an aggressive referral to the other feelings, aren’t THAT bad. But if I’m being completely honest (which I always am… to a fault) – taking a step back and not doing anything to actively attack this mother effer in my 🧠 is a touch scary. We will obviously continue monitoring the tumor with MRIs on a bi-monthly basis, which will give me some comfort as I continue to have stable-Mabel test results, but scanxiety isn’t my jam and I anticipate it’ll be a bit more annoying.

ANYWAYS. Moving onward and mostly upward, the last couple of months have served as excellent distractions as it relates to the big C. The last time I posted my family and I were gearing up for a couple trips. This prep obviously added a bit of crazy to the already crazy, toddler filled household, so my brain became completely preoccupied by those logistics.

In mid June, right after wrapping up the last round of chemo, we made the trek to our usual haunting grounds – Matunuck, Rhode Island.

As per usual, it was a nice escape from the norm. The girls enjoyed being in RI (although not really at the beach…) and we got to do a couple young-family-of-four activities.

After getting home from Rhode Island, it was time to pack for our amazing yet slightly insane trek to It-Lee 🍝☕️🍕🇮🇹!! We flew out the 5th, with our kind neighbor buddies hosting us on the 4th so we/I didn’t have to do much thinking outside of packing.

As a couple of parents who have young kids warned me – their “plan for a 60/40 time with the kiddos” – was on point. I’m not sure this makes sense but in my head it was kind of like hitting a grand slam in one inning and then striking out (or getting hit by the pitch 😬) in the next. Traveling that far with two toddler-aged girlies was an exhausting but ultimately glorious adventure.

The flights were horrific. The girls refused to sleep on the way there and we were flying overnight so by the end of the eight hour stretch, my brother & sister (who we might not have survived without) and Ryan & I were completely drained. Unfortunately it didn’t change much on the flight back home. Both girls made it about five or six hours into the flight before their exhaustion kicked in and they started to completely lose their minds. There was also a “gentleman” sitting in front of us on one flight, glaring at us with such dirty looks that if it weren’t for Erica, I would have stood up and told him to fuck off 🖕🏼

But really – It-Lee “bookends” so to speak aside, it was a special week with special people and I’m glad we went (and learned that we will NOT do another Eurotrip with the kids anytime soon). The girls got to devour the best of their favorites – pizza and “Papa sauce” covered noodles. Between that and the stracciatella gelato🍦, their tummies were happy as could be. Same held true for the adult gang, especially my GF sister who dove HARD into the safe gluten delights. Because apparently in Italy they don’t have toxic pasta that makes sensitive tummy folks ill.

As if that all wasn’t enough (is there ever enough?!), Ryan was kind enough to encourage me to bounce up to Niagara Falls for a few days to support one of my #1 supporters – my bro in law Uncle Trevor. I’m not sure how many of you checked out my shout out to his charity event on my previous posts so here are the deets. Starting last weekend, Trevor participated in a FIVE HUNDRED MILE bike ride in my honor, and in support of cancer research. Specifically, the charity is the Empire State Ride. Fun fact for the folks who have reached out to me about the recent news on a CAR T cell therapy treatment – one of the doctors who has been heavily involved in pioneering this treatment participated in the bike ride. Despite not knowing if this will be something that my oncologist pushes, I couldn’t help approaching him and thanking him for his dedicated service to the fucking cancer sucks community. He was hard to read in a way that I’ve experienced with super intelligent folks at work, but he called me kind so I think he appreciated the sentiment and I assume/hope this type of feedback encourages him to keep going.

Another fun fact, I’m actually wrapping up this post during our SIX-ish hour drive home. A drive that’s a touch longer than I typically enjoy, but tolerable thanks to my PICs – Al, KDK and Jenn – and so freaking worth it to show our support to Trevor for his insane and inspiring bike ride. If any of you might be into such craziness, let me know and I can put you in touch with Trevor for some 2025 team building… just sayin’!!

LASTLY – it’s time to share a bit about some other angst-inducing topics outside of having cancer AND coordinating & planning way too many days traveling.

If you’re aware that your political ideals & feminism support levels are not aligned with mine, you may want to say✌🏼. If you’re in that camp but feel open to hearing someone you respect rattle on about her opinion, here you go.

To date, I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job at keeping my political & social opinions dimmed. Given everything that’s gone on over the last couple of weeks I can’t stop myself from sharing some of my thoughts on the whole situation. I’m obviously a good human and would never condone or respect the fact that people choose gunfire and use it to end another human’s life. I’m appalled by what’s happening in the Middle East, disgusted by the general stats around gunfire based crimes, and generally scared that our country leans so hard into the second amendment. (Despite being pretty agreeable to ignoring others. Like the 14th.)

All of this makes me anxious as it is. Introduce what has become of the 2024 presidential election and I have a hard time tapping into my normal glass-half-full mindset. The shooting combined with Biden’s lackluster debate skills have given some fuel to those who are looking to strip the nation, especially women, of their rights. If it wasn’t looking bad enough with Trump, the addition of a man who has endorsed and supported the worst of the anti-abortion laws makes me anxious AF. As a woman who knows way too many women who have made the difficult (or necessary for health reasons) decision to have an abortion, this is gross. As a woman who suffers from a disease that would make being pregnant less than ideal, but may not be a true “medical exemption patient,” or whatever they’re calling it, this is horrifying. As a woman who is raising two beautiful little ladies who will eventually be women in this country, this is scary.

Basically I just can’t handle the anticipation and planning for what this country could look like down the road. I’m incredibly hopeful that I’m wrong and Kamala does what a VIP knew she needed to do:

My mother had a saying: Kamala, you may be the first to do many things, but make sure you’re not the last.

– Kamala Harris, 2019

Kamala, here’s to you. I am hoping with all my heart that your mom was right all those years ago. My representation of support will come in the form of my AMAZING tee’s collection, which I am obviously going to expand upon, and my blabbing to people who may not want to hear or admit that the rights of women are at risk come next January.

Well – if you’re reading this you survived! Props to you. As always, I appreciate all of your love and support. And for those of you who are never sure, please feel free to reach out. 98% of those outreaches don’t bother me so you’re PROBABLY in the clear.

BCCTWB